I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
