I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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