just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
