I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
