return my video game
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
