pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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