You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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