The maid of honor just puked.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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