i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize