Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
