I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
