After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
