I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
