So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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