Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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