Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
is it fun? or sober?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
