ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
