He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
