she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
