after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
