We're like a lot better than the average bears
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
