So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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