You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
