we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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