I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
