She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
