I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
