Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
