i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
