Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
