i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
