I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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