Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
its liver damage thursday
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
