okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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