it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
