I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
