Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
