Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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