All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
