He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
