I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
