i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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