i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize