OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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