So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
