I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
