will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
