Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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