i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
