my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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