Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
