I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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