Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
These tits shall not be calmed
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
