What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
