i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize