So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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