She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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