billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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