i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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