I just threw up on my dentist
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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