Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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