I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
